...the Devil will gather up all of your earthly sins and make you spend eternity attempting to push them around in one of those utterly uncontrollable IKEA shopping carts...
We bought these barstools and decided to return them; however, [apparently] you can't return stuff unless you have the little barcode that was hidden somewhere in the plastic wrap that you already threw away at home. This was explained to me by an unsympathetic check out girl who couldn't care less that I drove all this way (like, thirty minutes) for nothing. And as I was wheeling my defunct barstools back to my car, the uncooperative shopping cart would start drifting closer and closer to the tall curb, gaining momentum, almost eager to overturn itself in the parking lot. It took super-human strength to correct its perilous direction and keep it from taking out the toddler and his mother in my path. And then it would do it again! Darn those four wily swiveling wheels!
And this is how I came to my conclusion about the conditions in Hell.
5 comments:
As we parked the car in the grocery store parking lot one day one of the kids noticed that a few parking stalls were cordoned off and a guy was out there banging away on some grocery carts. When the child inquired as to what they were doing I simply explained that they gathered up all the grocery carts that had all the wheels that worked well and moved quietly and they were "fixing" them to behave like the grocery carts we are used to. Sounds like the crew got there just before you did.
I think you are right! Only they the carts will also squeeeek and thump wherever you go. I don't know about you, but the possibility ending up pushing an errant, noisy cart of sins for eternity really makes me want to repent!
Sorry to hear about the barstools.
Ikea carts are the worst! Just wait until you try pushing one full of stuff and a 30 lb child sitting in the front, while holding your other child's hand. Its impossible to push it straight when its empty!
Time to post the bar stools on Craigslist. Stupid Ikea. What's worse than those carts are the shopping carts with cars in the front of them for kids. I've taken out people, displays and I've come close to knocking down entire aisles.
No kidding! The carts with the cars in front-2 fighting kids in the front, 1 baby standing up in the baby seat to grab a package of light bulbs. You seriously have to do a 32-point turn in the aisle while you knock over the display of various napkins and plastic cutlery with your backside! Carts--love 'em . . . hate 'em.
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