Nice Pants

In England, these are not pants:

These are pants:

So when an American says, "I like your pants." An English person hears, "I like your underwear."

(You can guess where this is going.)

A few days ago, I stopped by the dry cleaners. I was standing inside the shop, and it was tiny. So tiny there was only enough floor space for myself and the man behind the counter. The girls waited outside the door in a shopping cart (this place is outside the grocery store), and I propped the door open so they could see me. Yes, this place was tiny, indeed.

I told the man I was here to pick up my dry cleaning. He asked for my name and I gave it to him. That was the extent of our conversation; he was somewhat terse and avoided eye contact as if to say he was ashamed of working in such a tiny shop. I didn't judge him, though. So to fill the empty air, I conversed with Esmé outside the door. She asked what we were doing, and I loudly replied, "We're picking up daddy's pants."

I instantly remembered the many times I'd been laughed at by my English friends for calling "trousers" "pants," so I glanced quickly at the man behind the counter to gauge his reaction. Nothing. Or at least he made no sign of being either appalled or amused at my misspeak. But just to cover myself, I said awkwardly to no one in particular, "Er, trousers."

I suppose that man has heard of some people dry cleaning their underwear, he's probably just not used to them yelling about it to their kids in the street.

At least I corrected myself. Usually I don't even think about it, which would explain why the Young Woman at church yesterday didn't quite know how to respond when I asked her if she knew how to hem her pants.