I’ve never been one to share many personal details about myself. If we were to sit down and talk, you and I, I would probably ask you about yourself and be content to listen and say little about me. I have a hard time being any other way. But I want to tell you about my weekend. I need to share it with someone.
This weekend, I took my very first trip to the ER.
I got my first hospital wrist band.
They put my very first IV in my arm.
I laid in a hospital bed for the first time.
I had my very first ultrasound.
And I had my second miscarriage.
And while I was sitting there being checked into the ER, I read a painted sign above the nurse’s door that told me, “The times of greatest change present the greatest possibilities.” Though at that moment, I felt like nothing was possible, I decided that life could not just be a series of random events, varying in degrees of the tame and the traumatic, just meaningless and unconnected. I’ve been clinging to that belief for a few days. And so life actually feels meaningful, thanks to the comforting power of a little faith.
I just wanted to share that. It feels good to tell you.
17 comments:
Annie...I'm so sorry to hear your news, but grateful that you shared it. You are a strong woman and I think you're amazing.
I feel proud and priviledge to read what I feel was you, a Young mother,s sweet faith and strength. Thank you for sharing, and you will be blessed greater than ever before, and your joy will be sweeter because of it. WE love you Annie, hang it there! You have lots of people that surround you who care, and are praying hard for you and Roo!!
Annie, I love you.
This post just made me cry. You are in our prayers!
Keep your chin up Annie.
Annie,
I've been thinking of you and Roo all weekend. It's so hard to understand the why's, but I admire your strength and your tender thoughts. Thank you for sharing your feelings with all of us. We love you!
I am so sorry Annie! My heart aches for you and for the pain, physical but mostly emotional you are going through. What a beautiful quote to have in the ER, just when you need it the most and want it the least. As much as I never hope to go through what you are going through again (and make it #6), I can't help being grateful for the person I have become through those experiences. Hang in there. You are a wonderful daughter of God!
I'm so sorry. But thank you for sharing. I'm so very sorry.
I'm Jesse C's sister and I've been reading your blog for a while now and I think you seem like an extremely wonderful (and smart and funny) person. Which is why I want to say that I'm sorry. I wish stuff like this only happened to extremely awful people. Actually, I don't. I don't wish it on anyone. I've been there.
Good luck to you and your husband. Internet hugs to both of you from this stranger.
One more thing--I like what that sign said. I believe in signs.
Annie, this makes my heart hurt.
I was just reading a discussion on an LDS blog about a book, and someone wrote, "The best thing [about this book] is her willingness to show woundedness. There are very few things our LDS culture needs more than a willingness to show our wounds." I don't know that it's even an LDS thing, probably just a human thing, but none of us likes to show how vulnerable we are. But it's so necessary that we do it... so I just want to say thanks for sharing. And I'm praying for all good things for you and Roo.
Annie. I'm so sorry. That's devasting.
I'm so grateful you've found "the conforting power of a little faith," and I pray that you can feel God's love.
My good friend Ellie is in a similiar situation, and she recently started a blog dedicated to her experiences. She's the geeky one I've suggested you meet, and she and her husband would be willing to support you and Roo in whatever way she could (as would I). At the very least, please check out her blog http://twotimesamiss.blogspot.com/
I hope this helps, and let me know if there's anything I can do for you.
I'm so sorry. I don't really know what else to say. I know that faith can definitely get you through it.
I'm so sorry Annie. I love you and you are beautiful inside and out.
I'm so so so sorry again Annie! We keep you in our prayers and know things will work out for you no matter what happens! Let us know if you need anything!
I couldn't read your post without getting choked up and teary eyed. I won't even read it again. I know one hurts so much, I can't even imagine two. I know there is nothing to say that will make you feel better. If you ever want to call and complain, I am happy to hear it. Make sure Roo keeps you busy with lots of activities to keep your mind off of it. Come visit us.
I'm so sorry Annie and Roo. I wish we knew the reason for this kind of pain, I wish there was more we could do. It's hard to understand what the Lord knows sometimes, when all you have is faith. I wish we could give you a hug. We're thinking about you, and crying for you, and your little sweetheart. You are in our prayers.
I'm so sorry, Annie.
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