So, last weekend we went searching for someplace to live and this is what we found:
Option 1: A studio apartment in an ultra-modern renovated warehouse in East Bay. Pros: There's nothing cooler than living in an old warehouse. It even had a cool rooftop deck and was fully furnished.
Cons: The apartment was roughly the size of a solitary confinement cell. Also, I suspect it was haunted by the child laborers who used to work there.
Rent: $1500 per month
Option 2: A cute one-bedroom Victorian flat on Nob Hill similar to the one below.
Pros: Very picturesque, in the middle of the city, great views, had one of those elevators with the gate you have to lift up like in the movies.
Cons: Very old, few spots for the dogs to do their business, parking is non-existent except for an occasional spot on a 1000% grade hill across the street. Also see: Rent
Rent: An arm and a leg, plus one more extremity for a parking spot in a parking garage.
Option 3: A new, industrial-chic complex on the border of Oakland and Emeryville.
Pros: Finely furnished, washer drier in unit, the complex is fortified like a prison for safety. As we were waiting here on this corner to be shown the unit, we found it provided for the perfect "San Francisco" experience: across the street dread-locked hippies with Pink Floyd t-shirts kept streaming out of this house, pouring their drinks in the bushes, piling stuff into their van. The complex was on the border of the ghetto, and homeless cart-pushers would occasionally walk down the street mumbing to themselves while a gay couple stood looking at the complex trying to decide if they wanted to live here.
Cons: Roo noticed this ambigous sign at the elementary school across the street, "WARNING-Drug Free School Zone". It could be interpreted many ways, but I interpreted it as "I don't want to live here".
Rent: Your firstborn child. Plus utilities.
Option 4: One bedroom apartment in Sausalito overlooking the bay.
Pros: Amazing view, pet friendly, great area. Also see: Rent
Cons: 25 minute drive from work, 30 year old buildings.
Rent: $1440/mo plus utilities. In the real world, that is outrageously high for 700 square feet of 30-year old space. In San Francisco, it's a steal.
Option 5: Our rental car. We asked for a compact and ended up in this. Lumbering over those massive hills and one-way streets, trying to parallel park it felt enormous enough to live in.
Cons: Living as fugitives from Budget Rental Co.
Option 6: We happened upon Lucas Valley Road. We knew George Lucas lives somewhere on this road, so we drove along hoping maybe he'd invite us in to play with the ewoks in his backyard, have lunch with Harrison Ford, and stay on for the summer at the ranch.Cons: George Lucas's house is protected by some kind of force shield to keep people out. We couldn't find it.
Option 7: We went on a drive up Lucas Valley Road and found this perfectly situated little church. I thought it was so lovely.
Cons: I'd probably have to become some kind of pastor or something to live in it.
Rent: My eternal soul. Plus utilities.
Option 8:
Cons: Only three things on the menu. Even the "secret" menu is fairly confined.
Rent: Clogged arteries and a massive heart attack at age 30. Plus utilities.
So many options. We've got some big decisions to make!